Stains

Stains, originally uploaded by titanium-white.

Oh!

i love this one!!

sometimes messing with crap shots is the most fun.

Warm Weather Nocturne - a haiku lullabye

 Night time Sounds of spring
Cats yowl in full lordosis
Close the window. Now.

after the after party

frittering away the afternoon...

My voice is tired, my smile ragged.

It has been good birthday, celebrated in proper fashion, with much singing and drinking.

And with the finest of peeps. (save a few far flung stragglers who will be slapped once and hugged twice when next they come to ottawa town)

Its been lovely.

The stick-up kids have been busy in the warm weather, and i found hoards of new art on the way home from breakfast (Stela and Haunty, and some WZRD gng too, of course). As i was shooting, on three separate occasions, three strangers asked me to take their pictures. (which is maybe an indication that the stranger portrait series really needs to get rolling again - i mean, if  the universe is practically begging me to continue, who am i to resist?)

So there's that to keep me busy this evening,  with maybe an after dark run, and most definitely a pot of strong tea and a hot bubble bath.  

and hopefully, finally , (finally!)  I will tell you all about a dream,  so rich it has been distracting me for days, a deliriously vivid snippet of a history that never existed.    

talk soon.

<3

A.

Bus Haiku

on the long long ride to Kanata this friday morning


Mylar heart balloon
Crimson in crumpled defeat
Dumb trees grope rudely

see also POTATO PIG. j'adore.

the power of awesome will heal you

the power of awesome will heal you, originally uploaded by titanium-white.

I made this for a wounded comrade back at Kanata Animal Hospital. Lets just say it was a slow saturday.... lol.

'ku

Cursed by genetics,
Our children will be mutants.
Hot, Dictator mutants.



Smile becomes grimace
Three grand in dental surg. is
More than i can chew

Watch me as i disappear

fader, originally uploaded by titanium-white.

an self portrait born of experiments in back lighting and kamikaze filter layering.

not baaad for a midnight fit of sleeplessness and boredom.

i sometimes find it strange to see snapshots of myself,  in certain stages of my life.
Curious how they can mask the larger underlying currents,  or starkly and startlingly reveal them, depending on - i don't even know what.

here
the washed out, insubstantial haziness is accurate.  I have felt all winter like a dull and lusterless parody of myself, slipping further and further from my own ambitions.  Nothing satisfies.  I am restless, impotent and irritable, and eternally exhausted.  Ghosting.  A dumb spectre.        

the smile vexes.
complacent or complicit
as of yet, i do not know.

anticipation

I just applied for University.

I have never been so afraid of rejection in my life.

golem

The last few weeks have been short, and too full of mundane activity; the dull kind of busyness that eats up my spare time, and leaves not much of interest to talk about.

Today I woke up feeling ragged and washed out; flea bitten and scabby. My eyes are red and bleary, raw from trying to rub them into some kind of focus.

At work, I force feed the unfortunately named Nyx. She came to us days ago, barely alive, exhausted by the efforts of taking breath, unable to lift her head, little more than a husk. Beyond repair, we were certain she would die.

Tonight she has summoned enough energy to hate me. She exhausts herself fighting against the tiny mouthfulls of food i slowly poke into her. She gags and retches, barely able to breathe around swallowing.

You have to eat.

Her eyes and sinuses are gummed shut with viral slime. I clean the crust off of her eyelashes and wait for her to catch her breath. She wheezes and focuses her eyes on me.

improvement.

Slowly, she eats enough to qualify as a meal.  She turns her head defiantly as i wipe away the thick ropes of food and drool that hang from her chin.  I clean her face and paws, clean her eyes again.

In my arms i hold a tiny cat shaped golem, made of twigs and paper.
exhausted.
impossibly thin.
and yet she persists.

Rubbing her chin, i think about my two Skinny Boys being adopted, ( a thing i've been working towards for months) and am shocked by the sudden sharp slap of sadness.  I  gasp with the pang of the realization of how much i will miss them.

Fat tears squeeze out of my eyes and plop rudely on the back of Nyx's skinny neck.  I blink them back but its too late.  I think about the growing list of  faces i miss and add my Skinny Boys to it.  I  think about all the things that keep me awake at night, and all the things i am afraid of.  My cheeks burn as more tears slide down them. 

Through my sobs a tiny sound reaches me.  Far, far away, at the distant tips of my fingers the faintest of rumbles begins to grow.

Nyx's eyes are closed.

Her entire body rattles with an obscenely loud purr.

i am forgiven.

persist.

Two Skinny Boys

Just putting out feelers for people who might be interested in adding a cat to their posse...if you're not but you know someone who might be, please forward this along as you see fit!

We have TWO handsome boys available who were surrendered to the hospital by their owner. 

They are both neutered and (nearly) up to date on their vaccines (final vaccines are already paid for and will cost YOU nothing! Isn't THAT nice for a a change??! :-P ) They need a little love and fattening, but other than that are in great shape.


WILFORD is a 5 year old male, brown tabby with white paws and face blaze. He is very handsome with a long coat and, though shy at first, very friendly. He loves having his chin and ears rubbed and will head butt you in appreciation, or do his tippy-toe dance if you really get him going. His fur had to be shaved because of matting, so he looks a bit funny at the moment, but will be pret-teh gorgeous when it grows in again. This boy will likely have a big personality once he makes himself at home! 

THE BOY is an 11 year old,medium haired, black and white male with the most GORGEOUS pale green eyes. He is the more timid of the two and would do best in a home where he is the only cat. (we were told that Wilford used to boss him around quite a bit... poor boy!) He's a little shy, but very very sweet and just needs a little bit of convincing that we mean to spoil him. Check those Peepers!

If you are interested, please don't hesitate to contact me for more information, OR better still...swing by the hospital and introduce yourself to the boys. 

Thanks for readin'!


A.

"Did I SAY you could stop??" Wilford can hardly believe my audacity in interrupting a chin scratch to take a silly picture....

The Boy with his big green eyes. Ahhh-dorable!

The Cat Piano

Kittens,

It has been an awfully weird christmas, and i am delighted to put the year 2009 in its grave.

Likely 1010 will be all about elbow grease and determination, which admittedly does not sound like much fun, but at least there's some semblance of a plan.

its not much, but i'll take it.


And on a totally unrelated note, and because i am sick to death of christmas, and because i was reminded of it last night in a conversation at the NYE party, and because it is pretty in a great many ways,
here is:

The Cat Piano.

J'adore.