Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts

Sunday, April 18, 2010

after the after party

frittering away the afternoon...

My voice is tired, my smile ragged.

It has been good birthday, celebrated in proper fashion, with much singing and drinking.

And with the finest of peeps. (save a few far flung stragglers who will be slapped once and hugged twice when next they come to ottawa town)

Its been lovely.

The stick-up kids have been busy in the warm weather, and i found hoards of new art on the way home from breakfast (Stela and Haunty, and some WZRD gng too, of course). As i was shooting, on three separate occasions, three strangers asked me to take their pictures. (which is maybe an indication that the stranger portrait series really needs to get rolling again - i mean, if  the universe is practically begging me to continue, who am i to resist?)

So there's that to keep me busy this evening,  with maybe an after dark run, and most definitely a pot of strong tea and a hot bubble bath.  

and hopefully, finally , (finally!)  I will tell you all about a dream,  so rich it has been distracting me for days, a deliriously vivid snippet of a history that never existed.
   

talk soon.

<3

A.

Saturday, April 10, 2010

Bus Haiku

on the long long ride to Kanata this friday morning


Mylar heart balloon
Crimson in crumpled defeat
Dumb trees grope rudely

Thursday, February 4, 2010

golem

The last few weeks have been short, and too full of mundane activity; the dull kind of busyness that eats up my spare time, and leaves not much of interest to talk about.

Today I woke up feeling ragged and washed out; flea bitten and scabby. My eyes are red and bleary, raw from trying to rub them into some kind of focus.

At work, I force feed the unfortunately named Nyx. She came to us days ago, barely alive, exhausted by the efforts of taking breath, unable to lift her head, little more than a husk. Beyond repair, we were certain she would die.

Tonight she has summoned enough energy to hate me. She exhausts herself fighting against the tiny mouthfulls of food i slowly poke into her. She gags and retches, barely able to breathe around swallowing.

You have to eat.

Her eyes and sinuses are gummed shut with viral slime. I clean the crust off of her eyelashes and wait for her to catch her breath. She wheezes and focuses her eyes on me.

improvement.

Slowly, she eats enough to qualify as a meal.  She turns her head defiantly as i wipe away the thick ropes of food and drool that hang from her chin.  I clean her face and paws, clean her eyes again.

In my arms i hold a tiny cat shaped golem, made of twigs and paper.
exhausted.
impossibly thin.
and yet she persists.

Rubbing her chin, i think about my two Skinny Boys being adopted, ( a thing i've been working towards for months) and am shocked by the sudden sharp slap of sadness.  I  gasp with the pang of the realization of how much i will miss them.

Fat tears squeeze out of my eyes and plop rudely on the back of Nyx's skinny neck.  I blink them back but its too late.  I think about the growing list of  faces i miss and add my Skinny Boys to it.  I  think about all the things that keep me awake at night, and all the things i am afraid of.  My cheeks burn as more tears slide down them. 

Through my sobs a tiny sound reaches me.  Far, far away, at the distant tips of my fingers the faintest of rumbles begins to grow.

Nyx's eyes are closed.

Her entire body rattles with an obscenely loud purr.

i am forgiven.

persist.

Monday, November 30, 2009

exhale


exhale, originally uploaded by titanium-white.
my portraits of strangers series is finally, FINALLY underway. Two years after i started it, i finally took my balls out of my purse and started asking people if i could take their picture, instead of gazing at them wistfully and kicking myself for days after each and every missed opportunity.

This one made Explore on flickr today, Which i ALWAYS discredit, except, of course, when i am in it. ;-)


three cheers for progress and productivity.

Huzzah.

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

nocturne

walking home from the bus stop
the city air is thick and hot
sunset brings scant relief
all that concrete...
baking us while we sleep

i trudge through clouds of patio conversation
lost snippets and curtailed sagas
philosophies without context

Outside the Mission, clustered like schoolboys, effete and grown wild
tattered men growl stories of ambush and malaise

...he woulda stabbed me
...get a knife...
...get a bottle into you...
...I'm going to beat that motherfucker!
...well...
...you know Georgie!

broken glass voices telling broken heart tales

hey buddy have you got an extra cigarette?

Monday, December 8, 2008

some haiku

there is nothing here;
no warm familiar faces,
in winter city







i stare through the grime
of a dirty bus window.
all the world is gray.




all the birds are gone
but the noisy, raucous, gulls.
they shriek in triumph.



you pull me to you
like the full moon pulls the tide.
i am overcome.




I think i love you
more than i reasonably should.
I'm okay with that.

Monday, June 16, 2008

No complaints = No material

I am completely exhausted, bruised, blistered, smelly, ravenous and grinning from ear to ear.

It has been a pretty great week.

Monday, May 26, 2008

Doomsday Celebrations

We spent the day at the beach; brought baskets of food, blankets and towels and all the instruments we could carry.
Aside from the livid colours in the sky and the fervent intensity of the celebrations you would never know the end was drawing near. It could be any other day; just an arbitrary holiday marked with seaside celebrations.
We have determined to meet it, not only on our feet, but dancing;
smiling and laughing.
Singing.
Squeezing every last drop of joy there is to be had out of what remains of this life.

We want it all, and we haven't got long.

There are no sign bearers here. No nay-sayers, alarmists, or sermonists preaching damnation. They are perched outside the council halls, at parliament, and on the remaining broadcasting TV stations. They have kept to the warrens of the city; and they are welcome to it.

Before the sun goes down, Aubin claims a seat on one of the bluffs overlooking the ocean. He sits and paints it as it pummels the rock cliffs at the north end of the beach. He paints the lurid cloudscapes and the sea birds diving off the cliffs. He paints the surf as it breaks across the beach and the sun slipping towards the horizon. He does not paint the growing crowd. His beach is empty. He gets the waves just right. Likely, his work will be destroyed long before the oil paints have a chance to fully dry . It doesn't matter because this piece isn't about production or documentation. Its about doing what you love.

As the light begins to fade bonfires spark into life along the sands. The crowd continues to grow as more and more people arrive.

Drums pound. There is every manner of instrument being played. Voices join in chorus and laughter percolates through the buzz of the crowd. Fire spinners work their magic. There are more than a few costumed and painted faces here, making last appearances, determined to make the last show a good one. A set of whirling dervishes set to work entrancing themselves. Great huge skeletons and reapers move through the throng; hovering overhead on tall staffs. They reach out menacingly or lilt and dance according to the whims of their puppeteers. Someone brought a projector is is blasting old movie fragments onto the rock face.

Occasionally a shark explodes from the crashing surf and hurls itself towards the beach. Most of them are small, and are carried back out to sea by the retreating waves. A few larger ones have been marooned and lie; thrashing, gasping or still, on the sands. Some opportunistic party goers have already begun carving steaks for roasting over the fires. No one knows for certain why the big fish seem to be driven towards land. We speculate about offshore weather patterns and pressure systems. We talk about horses getting skittish and dogs going crazy before tornadoes and wonder how they know the things they do. We wonder when the big wave will come.

Tucked away in the quieter corners of the beach there are tall tales being told. We regale each other with our greatest moments; and the most delightfully embarrassing moments of our friends'. A posse of old ladies share a last pot of tea (or two) and cackle over their bridge hands. Lovers kiss in the shadows.

This is the very best of what our species has to offer; secrets and songs and stories. We are at our finest; drumming and dancing the night away. We will pour it all out on the sands one last time.

We refuse sadness.

We are, all of us, temporary.