Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Watch me as i disappear
not baaad for a midnight fit of sleeplessness and boredom.
i sometimes find it strange to see snapshots of myself, in certain stages of my life.
Curious how they can mask the larger underlying currents, or starkly and startlingly reveal them, depending on - i don't even know what.
the washed out, insubstantial haziness is accurate. I have felt all winter like a dull and lusterless parody of myself, slipping further and further from my own ambitions. Nothing satisfies. I am restless, impotent and irritable, and eternally exhausted. Ghosting. A dumb spectre.
the smile vexes.
complacent or complicit
as of yet, i do not know.